


I Will Try To Fix You

by b_dubinsky



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, and we played our best, fuck boston is my mood rn, i cried myself to sleep, i love this team, im in a zach mood, im writing my feelings, theyre all pretty much together, this follows zach and seths relationship, with cameos from everyone else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-28 18:46:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18762247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b_dubinsky/pseuds/b_dubinsky
Summary: All in all, Zach learned that things happen for a reason and so he knows now that, even if they lose, they will all still have each other, and he'll still have Seth.





	I Will Try To Fix You

**Author's Note:**

> someone hold me cause I cant stop crying  
> the blue jackets have done this to me. do I forgive them? I do.

He knew Dylan was going to call him and that wasn't an issue. He wanted to talk to his best friend about fucking up a chance to continue on their remarkable season. Zach was going to take his bag that had everything in it (his phone included) to his house, change into something to immediately be able to change out of again, and go over to Seth's. (And put on Seth's clothes.)

He loved Dylan and he understood that he wanted to talk from the 15 texts he already flooded into Zach's inbox, but not today. Not after this. He doesn't think he can do it today.

So after he showers and cleans up, talking slightly to media and hearing the day they'll do cleanout vaguely, he leaves and drives to his house, tears bunching up against his eyelids.

He walks in and throws his bag down in frustration, moving languidly to his room to tug on some comfier clothes, leaving his suit in a puddle on the floor, tears still threatening to fall.

He walked back out of the house and started the 5 minute drive over to Seth's place.

When Seth answered the door, Zach just fell into him, finally letting his tears break the dam of his eyes and be soaked up by the soft cotton of Seth's shirT.

"Why couldn't we do it?" Zach muttered against Seth's shoulder, sucking in a deep breath.

"Here, let's go lay down, babe." Seth's calming voice rang out in the otherwise quiet of the house. 

If it had been loud in the house, he doesn't think he would have been able to hear him.

He let Jonesy close the door and then started following him through the house to the bedroom Zach probably knew better than his own.

"I feel empty." Zach whispered, falling face first into Seth's bed.

"Zach, honey, its ok. I know it seems like it isn't, but it is. We did so good this year and what we did this season is reall something to be confident in. Please stop crying, though, because if you keep on crying, I'm gonna start." Seth tried to calm Zach down, laying next to him, pushing his fingers into Zach's hair. 

Zach couldn't find it in himself to stop crying, mainly because, well, he's fucking sad, ok? And another thing, who gave Seth the right to be so chill about being eliminated from the fucking playoffs. He didn't understand how Seth wasn't absolutely losing his shit.

There are a lot of things that happened tonight that he doesn't really think should have happened, though, losing being the first one. He didn't understand how they fought so hard and still ended up coming short.

Another thing being the fact that Brad hadn't tried to call yet. If he didn't answer his phone, Brad usually called Seth but not tonight, for some unknown reason.

One thing that he sort of expected, though, should have been the fact that he found himself in this vulnerable situation with Jonesy.

And one thing is for sure, Seth knew how to get him to say anything and everything.

For a second in his tear streaked hiccuping daze, he realized that Josh's birthday is tomorrow and, damn that would suck.

But Josh is tough and even if he does get really sad, he will always have Bread there for him and he knows that. 

But Josh and Bread and birthdays aside, he fucking feels like shit right now. He feels like someone took his heart out and is letting him slowly watch it cease to beat and now his face is hurting because he's cried so much that it's made his head feel like a blimp and his eyes feel puffy.

Overall it isn't his best day. 

But then he remembers that Seth's warm and solid presence is right there next to him and that he can confide in him and that he loves him no matter what.

"You do still love me, right? Even though I lost it for us and I'm crying?" He questions and he doesn't even think its him talking for a second because his voice sounds really watery and just far away. He's never sounded that bad before.

"What the fuck kind of question is that? Do you know how stupid that just made you sound? I want you to know something andI want you to remind yourself of this every single time you think you're not worth anything; I love you with everything in me and I will never stop. You make me outstandingly happy and I thank god every day for giving you to me." Seth spoke to him, dragging him until he was laying on Seth.

"I know you love me and I don't know what I was thinking. I love you, too."

"Ok, let's sleep."

"I wanna change." Zach blushed, sniffling a little.

"Ugh, you know where my sweats are." Seth groaned, but smiled at his boyfriend anyway.

\--  
The next day, Zach woke up at noon and texted Josh as soon as he woke up wishing him a happy birthday, only noticing after he turned back over that Seth wasn't there anymore. 

He will admit that he knew that Seth would be in the living room, but he did freak out for a minute, but he eventually yelled for Seth.

"Seth, babe, where are you?" He spoke out into the quiet house, situating himself in the bed. 

"I'm here, you ok?" He asked, coming into the room.

"Yeah, I'm good I just got scared." He smiled, feeling how puffy his face was.

"We have to go to the diner today with the guys for Josh's birthday and all. They bought it out for lunch." He informed Zach, sitting at the foot of the bed, settling a grounding hand on Zach's shin through the covers.

"When did you wake up?" He asked, moving the blankets off of him and walking to the bathroom.

"About 10 til 8." Seth called as Zach used the toilet and brushed his teeth with the spare toothbrush he had at Seth's house.

"That early? Why would you do that to yourself?" He spoke through a mouthful of toothpaste.

"Mom got here."

"Amy Jones is here and you never told me?" Zach was absolutely dumbfounded at the thought of not knowing Amy had gotten to Seth's house.

He bolted out of the room before Seth could say another word.

He found Amy standing in the kitchen and he brought her into a big embrace and she kissed his cheek.

"Hi, Zachary. How are you feeling?" She asked as Zach hopped onto the counter, hearing Seth mutter a soft 'Zach we've talked about that' but he didn't care.

"A little better now that it isn't like, fresh, ya know? But it still sucks."

"I know, baby, but that will happen and I know you know that but sometimes you have to hear it again." She smiled, grabbing him a water bottle from the fridge.

"Thank you. I know you're gonna tell me the same thing Seth told me last night but I just can't help feel like it's my fault."

"And I'm sure everyone feels that way, even Seth, you just have to power through it because you are a strong boy and an amazing player. You need to have that confidence in yourself." 

"Zach, we need to get ready to leave. Momma will be here after we celebrate with Josh." 

Zach jumped down off of the counter and went back to the bedroom to get some clothes he had left at Seth's house, putting them on, and somelwhat fixing his hair. 

Look, Zach's a little disgusting, so sue him for not wanting to shower when he's sad.

When they got to the diner, it was like all the emotions he was trying to hold back came rushing to the surface and he had to try his hardest not to let everything spill out.

They walked in and immediately saw Josh at the center table with Artemi who was running his fingers in his hair, whispering soft, affectionate Russian phrases into his ear.

Another sight to see was Luc and Brandon in their own booth, Brandon pressed against the wall with Luc's long slender body running up Brandon's side where Dubi's arm was locked around him. If Zach was honest with you, he couldn't tell where PL started and Brandon stopped.

Matt holding onto Ryan and Savvy with Scotty, Sergei running his knuckles along Nick's arm and Dean gently braiding Juice's hair where Adam was holding Riley on his lap. 

Everyone was there to celebrate Josh's 25th, but they were also closing their wounds from the excrutiating loss the night before.

"Hey, thanks, everyone. You guys didn't have to come I know it probably still hurts that we lost, but I want everyone to know that I do appreciate that you guys are celebrating with me. I love you all." Josh spoke as Zach and Seth found seats together.

"We love you, too, Josh. Just because the team went through something doesn't mean we wouldn't celebrate your birthday with you." Nick announced and they ate together, finding some smiles in the day as well.

\--

After cleanout and staying in Columbus for a couple more days, Zach and Seth decided that they deserved a vacation, figuring to go to Cancun, swimming away their sorrows and finding themselves wrapped up in each other a whole lot more than they had originally intended.

All in all, Zach learned that things happen for a reason and so he knows now that, even if they lose, they will all still have each other, and he'll still have Seth.

**Author's Note:**

> sad.


End file.
